If you are currently dealing with divorce, you can be expected to feel a wide range of different emotions. Depending on what the circumstances of the breakup were you may feel anger, hurt, grief, rage or even, on occasion, happiness or elation. The final two emotions may come as a result to having a divorce finalized and feeling as if you can move past this part in your life.
However, if you are still in love with your spouse, you may want to learn how the tricks of dealing with divorce that can help keep your ex from becoming your ex. Depending on the cause or causes for the divorce and who started the process, you may find this easier or more difficult than you thought. However, there are ways that can get you through this time productively and which may even lead to you keeping the divorce from becoming finalized.
All relationships have reasons why they end, and there is no relationship that has ended solely because of the actions of one partner but not the other. Because you have issues on both sides to work through, you should consider counseling or mediation. Many times the courts will order you to attend sessions with a marital counselor and this is something you should take advantage of.
Counseling is an excellent way for you and your partner to discuss issues that affected your relationship negatively. You should make sure that both of you are comfortable with the person you are speaking with. If both sides do not feel a connection with the counselor, or one spouse thinks that the counselor is unfairly targeting them, they will shut down and an important chance at communication will be lost.
If you are trying to have any chance at maintaining a relationship and preventing the divorce, you need to make sure that you are able to interact with your spouse without arguing. Arguing can rapidly turn bitter and drive an even larger wedge between the two of you. You should try very hard to discuss things in a very calm manner. Mediation can help with that.
Mediation and non-adversarial approaches to divorce are aimed at handling things in a way that may even lead to having the marriage remain solvent. The goal of a mediator is that you will work with them to settle the issues surrounding the divorce including the separation of property, any funds such as child support or alimony, and even child custody agreements. If you can work together to make these decisions, you may often find that it is possible to reclaim some of the love and feeling you once shared and have a much better way of dealing with divorce.
If you find that after counseling and soul searching you are still unable to make the relationship work, you may need to allow the divorce to continue. Dealing with divorce can also mean realizing when a relationship cannot be saved and must be allowed to dissolve so that you and your partner can get on with living a full and productive life.
Want Your Ex Back? Find out what you need to do. Visit for a free report on Getting Your Ex Back at http://www.gettingthemback.info
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Getting an Ex Girlfriend Back - Some Tips and Hints
If you are interested in getting an ex girlfriend back there are a few things you should keep in mind and certain actions you should take. Of course, any relationship is unique and there may be circumstances that make getting back together more or less difficult but there are a few things to keep in mind.
You need to come in under her radar if you want to stand a chance of getting back together with your woman. She will be extremely suspicious of everything and every gesture that you make, at least at first. Your ex will worry that you are playing games and that you may just be setting her up to be hurt all over again. You need to show that that is not the case.
If you manage to couple being casual with some of her interests, that can be an excellent way to acknowledge what she finds important and appear to be being nice without ulterior motives. If she loves a band, get two tickets to a concert and offer them to her and one of her female friends. That shows you are including her friends and counting yourself out of the evening. How could this possibly be a trick to get her back if you are not even there?
Getting the approval of her female friends is important since friends are very important to a woman. They were her support system during the break up and the time immediately after. Many women look to the input of their friends before they are willing to get back together with a woman. Remember, her friends may not like you at all. They heard how upset you made their friend and they don't have the buffer of positive emotions to cloud their judgment. If they think you are messing with your ex, they will let her know and this can destroy even the best laid plans.
One good sign that you have a chance is if she is still calling you. Women can be odd in that she may be calling and arguing with you to gage whether or not you are still interested enough. Remember not to let her make you into her whipping boy but as long as you are still talking you have the chance to sort things out and work at fixing misunderstandings. If she won't even talk to you, your chances of resurrecting the relationship are slim to none.
Women can be very fickle and may react to things in ways you may not expect. You may not understand, but women are very emotionally and mentally driven. They also have long memories and even when things seem to go well, something may happen that triggers a negative memory. Be prepared for this. As you grow closer to reconciling, you may find that she actually seems more upset. This is because she is becoming more emotionally invested in being with you and is risking being hurt again. It can be difficult but if you can work through it you stand an excellent chance of getting an ex girlfriend back.
You may wonder if it is actually possible to get an ex girlfriend back. The simple answer is yes, but you will need to use some of the hints and tips listed above to do so.
Want Your Ex Back? Find out what you need to do. Visit for a free report on Getting Your Ex Back at http://www.gettingthemback.info
You need to come in under her radar if you want to stand a chance of getting back together with your woman. She will be extremely suspicious of everything and every gesture that you make, at least at first. Your ex will worry that you are playing games and that you may just be setting her up to be hurt all over again. You need to show that that is not the case.
If you manage to couple being casual with some of her interests, that can be an excellent way to acknowledge what she finds important and appear to be being nice without ulterior motives. If she loves a band, get two tickets to a concert and offer them to her and one of her female friends. That shows you are including her friends and counting yourself out of the evening. How could this possibly be a trick to get her back if you are not even there?
Getting the approval of her female friends is important since friends are very important to a woman. They were her support system during the break up and the time immediately after. Many women look to the input of their friends before they are willing to get back together with a woman. Remember, her friends may not like you at all. They heard how upset you made their friend and they don't have the buffer of positive emotions to cloud their judgment. If they think you are messing with your ex, they will let her know and this can destroy even the best laid plans.
One good sign that you have a chance is if she is still calling you. Women can be odd in that she may be calling and arguing with you to gage whether or not you are still interested enough. Remember not to let her make you into her whipping boy but as long as you are still talking you have the chance to sort things out and work at fixing misunderstandings. If she won't even talk to you, your chances of resurrecting the relationship are slim to none.
Women can be very fickle and may react to things in ways you may not expect. You may not understand, but women are very emotionally and mentally driven. They also have long memories and even when things seem to go well, something may happen that triggers a negative memory. Be prepared for this. As you grow closer to reconciling, you may find that she actually seems more upset. This is because she is becoming more emotionally invested in being with you and is risking being hurt again. It can be difficult but if you can work through it you stand an excellent chance of getting an ex girlfriend back.
You may wonder if it is actually possible to get an ex girlfriend back. The simple answer is yes, but you will need to use some of the hints and tips listed above to do so.
Want Your Ex Back? Find out what you need to do. Visit for a free report on Getting Your Ex Back at http://www.gettingthemback.info
What is the Best Free Advice on How to Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back?
A breakup hurts for men just as much as it does for women. If you have suddenly found that the woman in your life is gone you may be wondering how to get her back. There is a lot of advice out there but the best free advice on how to get your ex-girlfriend back may seem like it is hard to find. Look no further. Here are a few of the top tips that have been found in much of the advice articles written about getting your girlfriend back.
There are a few different things that you are going to need to do. They include looking at the reasons why the break up happened and adjusting any negative behaviors, learning to communicate more effectively and learning how to give your ex girlfriend the space that she needs to deal with her own hurt feelings and negative emotions.
Looking at the reasons why the break-up happened is really important. If she left you, you might be tempted to blame everything on her. But rarely is it just the fault of one side or the other. Were you overly jealous or critical of her? These are tough behaviors to adjust but it is critical that you do.
Did you leave her because of her negative actions or attitudes? If so, you need to decide whether you are able to be with her if she does not change. Remember, you should never go into a relationship hoping to change someone. If you will end up breaking up with her because you cannot deal with her as she is, it might be better to simply stay apart.
Another thing that is commonly believed to be the best free advice on how to get your ex-girlfriend back is learning to communicate more effectively. Men and women communicate very differently. They often make the mistake of thinking that because they have dealt with an issue in the way they understand their partner would understand as well. This is most definitely not the case.
Communication in a good relationship can be difficult. Communication after a break up can be even more difficult but it is critical. There is nothing you can do that stands a better chance of helping you get your ex-girlfriend back. Women often feel that men are closed off emotionally and unwilling to talk about problems. You need to show her that you understand how the break up has hurt her and that you respect her feelings. You will need to rebuild the trust that has been broken as well, and this can be accomplished over time if you are willing to open up and talk to her.
The last point is giving your girlfriend the space she needs to deal with the break up. If nothing else, give her space. No matter whether she left you or you left her, hovering and clinging are going to confuse and turn her off. If you left her, why do you keep hanging around? She may feel that you have been playing games and nothing upsets a woman more than that.
The best free advice on how to get your ex-girlfriend back is to talk more, think more, and give more space. If you use these three methods of dealing with a break up you stand a better chance of reuniting and forging a stronger and happier relationship than the one you had before you parted.
Want Your Ex Back? Find out what you need to do. Visit for a free report on Getting Your Ex Back at http://www.gettingthemback.info
There are a few different things that you are going to need to do. They include looking at the reasons why the break up happened and adjusting any negative behaviors, learning to communicate more effectively and learning how to give your ex girlfriend the space that she needs to deal with her own hurt feelings and negative emotions.
Looking at the reasons why the break-up happened is really important. If she left you, you might be tempted to blame everything on her. But rarely is it just the fault of one side or the other. Were you overly jealous or critical of her? These are tough behaviors to adjust but it is critical that you do.
Did you leave her because of her negative actions or attitudes? If so, you need to decide whether you are able to be with her if she does not change. Remember, you should never go into a relationship hoping to change someone. If you will end up breaking up with her because you cannot deal with her as she is, it might be better to simply stay apart.
Another thing that is commonly believed to be the best free advice on how to get your ex-girlfriend back is learning to communicate more effectively. Men and women communicate very differently. They often make the mistake of thinking that because they have dealt with an issue in the way they understand their partner would understand as well. This is most definitely not the case.
Communication in a good relationship can be difficult. Communication after a break up can be even more difficult but it is critical. There is nothing you can do that stands a better chance of helping you get your ex-girlfriend back. Women often feel that men are closed off emotionally and unwilling to talk about problems. You need to show her that you understand how the break up has hurt her and that you respect her feelings. You will need to rebuild the trust that has been broken as well, and this can be accomplished over time if you are willing to open up and talk to her.
The last point is giving your girlfriend the space she needs to deal with the break up. If nothing else, give her space. No matter whether she left you or you left her, hovering and clinging are going to confuse and turn her off. If you left her, why do you keep hanging around? She may feel that you have been playing games and nothing upsets a woman more than that.
The best free advice on how to get your ex-girlfriend back is to talk more, think more, and give more space. If you use these three methods of dealing with a break up you stand a better chance of reuniting and forging a stronger and happier relationship than the one you had before you parted.
Want Your Ex Back? Find out what you need to do. Visit for a free report on Getting Your Ex Back at http://www.gettingthemback.info
Handling a Breakup So You Have a Chance to Get Your Ex Back
Here is some free advice on how to have a chance to get your ex back. You might not be ready to hear it or use it, but it is still excellent advice to have. Dealing with a broken heart can be hard and you may just want to let your emotional wounds heal.
But if you think that there is a chance that getting your ex back is something you will want to do down the road, here are a few things you can do, or not do, in order to make that more likely to happen.
First, remember that whether you were wrong, or your ex was wrong, there are two sides to every story. Would you want to be with a person who lied, cheated, verbally abused you or wrecked your things? I bet that you wouldn't. If you answer that question by saying that those are the things that your ex did to you in the first place, you should ask whether you really want your ex back in the first place.
Past issues aside, you need to learn how to put past issues aside. Forgive and forget is the key to have a chance to get your ex back. If you want to be able to speak with them civilly and not come off as overly dramatic or unpleasant, you need to be able to look at and speak with your ex and not lose control on an emotional or temperamental level. Be pleasant and polite. You want to remind your ex why they were with you in the first place, and not why they broke up with you at the end.
It is a good idea for you think about your behavior and how it may have contributed to the break up. If you cheated on your ex, lied, or verbally or physically abused them, there is a clear reason why they may have left. Unfortunately if there were such huge issues, you may never be able to get them back. But if you are genuinely sorry for your behavior and can show them how you have changed, this may go a long way toward helping the situation.
If it was you that left your ex, they may be angry if you approach them and try to get them back. They may worry that you are going to leave them again or repeat negative behavior. If they left you, you may need to find out what the reason was that caused them to leave. Then, once you have found this out, it is up to you to show that you are changing that behavior and giving them a reason to ask you back.
In order to have a chance to get your ex back, you need to do some serious thinking and you may need to change how you act as well as some of your past behaviors. If you can look at the relationship clearly and realize that there were faults on both sides, then work at improving your actions, you may be able to reunite and enjoy a warm and loving relationship.
Want Your Ex Back? Find out what you need to do. Visit for a free report on Getting Your Ex Back at http://www.gettingthemback.info
But if you think that there is a chance that getting your ex back is something you will want to do down the road, here are a few things you can do, or not do, in order to make that more likely to happen.
First, remember that whether you were wrong, or your ex was wrong, there are two sides to every story. Would you want to be with a person who lied, cheated, verbally abused you or wrecked your things? I bet that you wouldn't. If you answer that question by saying that those are the things that your ex did to you in the first place, you should ask whether you really want your ex back in the first place.
Past issues aside, you need to learn how to put past issues aside. Forgive and forget is the key to have a chance to get your ex back. If you want to be able to speak with them civilly and not come off as overly dramatic or unpleasant, you need to be able to look at and speak with your ex and not lose control on an emotional or temperamental level. Be pleasant and polite. You want to remind your ex why they were with you in the first place, and not why they broke up with you at the end.
It is a good idea for you think about your behavior and how it may have contributed to the break up. If you cheated on your ex, lied, or verbally or physically abused them, there is a clear reason why they may have left. Unfortunately if there were such huge issues, you may never be able to get them back. But if you are genuinely sorry for your behavior and can show them how you have changed, this may go a long way toward helping the situation.
If it was you that left your ex, they may be angry if you approach them and try to get them back. They may worry that you are going to leave them again or repeat negative behavior. If they left you, you may need to find out what the reason was that caused them to leave. Then, once you have found this out, it is up to you to show that you are changing that behavior and giving them a reason to ask you back.
In order to have a chance to get your ex back, you need to do some serious thinking and you may need to change how you act as well as some of your past behaviors. If you can look at the relationship clearly and realize that there were faults on both sides, then work at improving your actions, you may be able to reunite and enjoy a warm and loving relationship.
Want Your Ex Back? Find out what you need to do. Visit for a free report on Getting Your Ex Back at http://www.gettingthemback.info
Friday, October 16, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
getting your girlfriend back
A break up can be a hard thing to handle. There are many reasons why a relationship can end. If you are the victim of a break up and you are interested in getting your girlfriend back, there are steps you can take to make that happen. They may take time and patience but if you really love her and think you can make it work, it can be well worth the effort.
It is important for you to look at who left who and why. If there was infidelity on your part, you may have no chance of getting your girlfriend back. But if you work at correcting the problems or issues that led to the break up and can prove to your girlfriend that you have honestly changed, then you may be able to woo her and start forging a new and stronger future together.
Here are a few things that you can do.
The first is to be patient. Women have long memories and it is a given that if you left her, she has had time to remember the things that upset her in the past. You need to be patient and accept that she will feel this way. Women are emotional beings and the things they feel are important, they simply cannot excuse negative emotions. They need to discuss them with you and be assured that old behavior patterns will not pop up again.
The second is to be honest. You need to be honest about things that happened in the past. If you were unfaithful, acknowledge it and assure her that it will not happen again. Expect that she will have a hard time trusting you. After all, if you were unfaithful, usually you were also dishonest about what happened in the time before you broke up. So, she will have a history of broken trust.
If she was the one who was unfaithful, you have to build up your own trust that she will be faithful to you and will not cheat again. This can be hard but if you are honest with her it will give you the chance to work through issues before they can break you up again.
Be willing to talk with your partner. Men are much less verbal than women but if you want to have a chance of getting your girlfriend back, you will need to be willing to talk. Only through talking can you work through problems that happened in the past or will happen in future. If you talk to her you can help her see that you are being honest and faithful, and you can also communicate to her what you are feeling if she was unfaithful or left you.
Getting your girlfriend back can take work, dedication and a willingness to talk things through. If you want to have a chance of working things out, you need to make sure that you are committed to forging a future together and that you are willing to let the past rest in the past.
Want Your Ex Back? Find out what you need to do. Visit for a free report on Getting Your Ex Back at http://www.gettingthemback.info
It is important for you to look at who left who and why. If there was infidelity on your part, you may have no chance of getting your girlfriend back. But if you work at correcting the problems or issues that led to the break up and can prove to your girlfriend that you have honestly changed, then you may be able to woo her and start forging a new and stronger future together.
Here are a few things that you can do.
The first is to be patient. Women have long memories and it is a given that if you left her, she has had time to remember the things that upset her in the past. You need to be patient and accept that she will feel this way. Women are emotional beings and the things they feel are important, they simply cannot excuse negative emotions. They need to discuss them with you and be assured that old behavior patterns will not pop up again.
The second is to be honest. You need to be honest about things that happened in the past. If you were unfaithful, acknowledge it and assure her that it will not happen again. Expect that she will have a hard time trusting you. After all, if you were unfaithful, usually you were also dishonest about what happened in the time before you broke up. So, she will have a history of broken trust.
If she was the one who was unfaithful, you have to build up your own trust that she will be faithful to you and will not cheat again. This can be hard but if you are honest with her it will give you the chance to work through issues before they can break you up again.
Be willing to talk with your partner. Men are much less verbal than women but if you want to have a chance of getting your girlfriend back, you will need to be willing to talk. Only through talking can you work through problems that happened in the past or will happen in future. If you talk to her you can help her see that you are being honest and faithful, and you can also communicate to her what you are feeling if she was unfaithful or left you.
Getting your girlfriend back can take work, dedication and a willingness to talk things through. If you want to have a chance of working things out, you need to make sure that you are committed to forging a future together and that you are willing to let the past rest in the past.
Want Your Ex Back? Find out what you need to do. Visit for a free report on Getting Your Ex Back at http://www.gettingthemback.info
Monday, October 12, 2009
funs and festival ideals for thanks giving
American Thanksgiving all started during 1621 when Native Americans celebrated a three-day feast for surviving the country's first difficult winter. Thanksgiving today is known to be a very special holiday celebrated yearly during the 4th Thursday when autumn is at its best, November. During Thanksgiving people usually gather, as friends or as families, and express their gratitude towards God for a fruitful year. Aside from the acknowledgements made by people during this day, another highlight of most Thanksgiving celebrations is actually the dinner you are to have during the gathering. It wouldn't be Thanksgiving without the deliciously roasted and seasoned turkey at the center of the table. It's been a tradition for years and years to have turkey as dinner's main dish every Thanksgiving that some even call the special holiday "Turkey day." The gathering can also be an opportunity not only for hosts but for everyone present to acknowledge their friends, colleagues, and family for being in their lives. This is an opportunity to fix conflicts you have with anyone and do some patch ups with loved ones you rarely see because of regular busy days. It's also very common between Americans to exchange gift during this holiday to express their gratitude towards each other. They usually give out food or something they could eat for Thanksgiving dinner. Of course, each person's tastes are different so they usually give out food that is accepted by the local community. But that doesn't stop certain people from giving out food that are exotic. Some prefer to give out home made goods, which is actually good and thoughtful. More people prefer home made goods because it's a lot more special than just buying goods from stores. Everyone appreciates good food, even the corporate can agree to that. There's actually a lot to choose from when it comes to food given as gifts for Thanksgiving. There's a wide variety to choose from. The most popular we have is the traditional turkey. Either smoke or roasted both are equally delicious. There's also ham, smoked or however you want it, which is ideally given along with deliciously homemade mashed potatoes and gravy, veggies, corn, or breads. If you don't like going to your local markets, you can also order food to be delivered as gifts from the internet. You might even find a wider variety online. But before purchasing it's best to read the buyer's feedbacks on that item you are planning on buying first. Items should have reasonable or fair prices and the quality should be in accordance with standards. If you're not sure about certain things, play safe. A trusted company will always have a lot of positive feedbacks.
funs and festival ideals for thanks giving
American Thanksgiving all started during 1621 when Native Americans celebrated a three-day feast for surviving the country's first difficult winter. Thanksgiving today is known to be a very special holiday celebrated yearly during the 4th Thursday when autumn is at its best, November. During Thanksgiving people usually gather, as friends or as families, and express their gratitude towards God for a fruitful year. Aside from the acknowledgements made by people during this day, another highlight of most Thanksgiving celebrations is actually the dinner you are to have during the gathering. It wouldn't be Thanksgiving without the deliciously roasted and seasoned turkey at the center of the table. It's been a tradition for years and years to have turkey as dinner's main dish every Thanksgiving that some even call the special holiday "Turkey day." The gathering can also be an opportunity not only for hosts but for everyone present to acknowledge their friends, colleagues, and family for being in their lives. This is an opportunity to fix conflicts you have with anyone and do some patch ups with loved ones you rarely see because of regular busy days. It's also very common between Americans to exchange gift during this holiday to express their gratitude towards each other. They usually give out food or something they could eat for Thanksgiving dinner. Of course, each person's tastes are different so they usually give out food that is accepted by the local community. But that doesn't stop certain people from giving out food that are exotic. Some prefer to give out home made goods, which is actually good and thoughtful. More people prefer home made goods because it's a lot more special than just buying goods from stores. Everyone appreciates good food, even the corporate can agree to that. There's actually a lot to choose from when it comes to food given as gifts for Thanksgiving. There's a wide variety to choose from. The most popular we have is the traditional turkey. Either smoke or roasted both are equally delicious. There's also ham, smoked or however you want it, which is ideally given along with deliciously homemade mashed potatoes and gravy, veggies, corn, or breads. If you don't like going to your local markets, you can also order food to be delivered as gifts from the internet. You might even find a wider variety online. But before purchasing it's best to read the buyer's feedbacks on that item you are planning on buying first. Items should have reasonable or fair prices and the quality should be in accordance with standards. If you're not sure about certain things, play safe. A trusted company will always have a lot of positive feedbacks.
virtues of fittness success
If you want your fitness endeavor to be successful the following virtues must be practiced 1.) Desire 2.)Commitment 3.) Goal orientedness 4.) Intensity 5.) Persistance and Perseverance. Desire is a force of the will which leads people to seek to change their present reality. It is a powerful thing when a person who has long desired to change their body, finally becomes so fed up, that in their their mind there is no alternative but to begin taking the steps to create change. In short, a person has to want to change, and to truly create radical physical change takes total commitment.
Commitment is a dirty word to many in our culture today, but with respect to creating physical change total commitment is necessary. What is total commitment; it is being willing to do whatever it takes to achieve your goal, no matter what. Re-creating your body necessitates a 24/7 commitment. Your food intake must be strictly regulated every meal and snack, every day. You cannot miss workouts just because you are not feeling one hundred percent that day. You cannot miss workouts because you had a bad day or your boss or your spouse is angry with you. Success necessitates that a person overcomes all adversity and sticks to the workout program and eating plan no matter what, without any excuses.
Goal orientedness is having, at the very least, a mental picture of how you want the outcome of your training to be. I strongly advise each and every client of mine to obtain a picture which represents how they want to look. I require that it be a person of similar physical structure who has optimized their physical condition. Constantly meditating on that image keeps a goal visually present and helps immeasurably in fueling the desire to go on to total success Intensity, if you want to get results from your training, you must train with sufficient intensity. What does this mean? It means pitty-pat workouts will not do the job. I, as a personal trainer have seen people who are wasting time in the gym with low intensity workouts. They go through workouts which do not create results for months, even years, but results will never come unless they put in the sweat and elbow grease it takes to reshape a body.
Proper intensity is training as hard as you are capable during the entire length of the workout. Workouts without deep muscle burn will not create change. In my opinion, if you feel no need to grunt and groan at all in your workouts, you are training without sufficient intensity. Sweating is good thing, it is the body's response to vigorous exercise. No sweat in this trainer's book equals insufficient intensity. Persistence and perseverance. Do you want to succeed? Dogged determination to create results must be practiced for a successful training program. What is persistence? It is doing what needs to be done to create physical change each and every scheduled training day without exception. Intense weight training sessions done as scheduled without calling off and never missing your cardio sessions, this will create change Perseverance is gutting it out, sticking to the program even when your mind tells you that you are wasting your time. There will be times when you think that you are not changing quickly enough and it is at these times that you will be tempted to throw in the towel and quit. Perseverance causes a person to do the work necessary for a long enough period of time to attain one's goals.
Commitment is a dirty word to many in our culture today, but with respect to creating physical change total commitment is necessary. What is total commitment; it is being willing to do whatever it takes to achieve your goal, no matter what. Re-creating your body necessitates a 24/7 commitment. Your food intake must be strictly regulated every meal and snack, every day. You cannot miss workouts just because you are not feeling one hundred percent that day. You cannot miss workouts because you had a bad day or your boss or your spouse is angry with you. Success necessitates that a person overcomes all adversity and sticks to the workout program and eating plan no matter what, without any excuses.
Goal orientedness is having, at the very least, a mental picture of how you want the outcome of your training to be. I strongly advise each and every client of mine to obtain a picture which represents how they want to look. I require that it be a person of similar physical structure who has optimized their physical condition. Constantly meditating on that image keeps a goal visually present and helps immeasurably in fueling the desire to go on to total success Intensity, if you want to get results from your training, you must train with sufficient intensity. What does this mean? It means pitty-pat workouts will not do the job. I, as a personal trainer have seen people who are wasting time in the gym with low intensity workouts. They go through workouts which do not create results for months, even years, but results will never come unless they put in the sweat and elbow grease it takes to reshape a body.
Proper intensity is training as hard as you are capable during the entire length of the workout. Workouts without deep muscle burn will not create change. In my opinion, if you feel no need to grunt and groan at all in your workouts, you are training without sufficient intensity. Sweating is good thing, it is the body's response to vigorous exercise. No sweat in this trainer's book equals insufficient intensity. Persistence and perseverance. Do you want to succeed? Dogged determination to create results must be practiced for a successful training program. What is persistence? It is doing what needs to be done to create physical change each and every scheduled training day without exception. Intense weight training sessions done as scheduled without calling off and never missing your cardio sessions, this will create change Perseverance is gutting it out, sticking to the program even when your mind tells you that you are wasting your time. There will be times when you think that you are not changing quickly enough and it is at these times that you will be tempted to throw in the towel and quit. Perseverance causes a person to do the work necessary for a long enough period of time to attain one's goals.
the love of sports and the wealth in sports
Practicing your hitting skills should be one of your top priorities as a player. Practice makes perfect, sure. That’s because practice improves your muscle memory. And if you do your drills and exercises often enough, they will become second nature to you. When all the drills, techniques and mechanics become a part of your system, you’ll be performing a lot more consistently compared to your performance if you don’t practice often enough. However, practice alone simply doesn’t cut it.
You must practice correctly to ensure that you achieve your practice goals much faster. Aside from that, doing your drills and exercises correctly ensures and that you’re not leading yourself to greater chances of injury. So here are some of my softball hitting tips that will help you make the most of your hitting practice. Follow them and you’ll save yourself a lot of time and keep yourself from getting injured. Get a Training Coach Not many players may be able to afford hiring one, but if you’re really serious about improving your game then I strongly suggest you get a training coach. Sure, your team’s coach can guide you during practices, but he’s already working hard enough. He also has your teammates to take care of which is why you may not be getting the most of your training with him.
So I suggest you get a training coach who can share with you more time to take a closer look at your game. And since his suggestions are more personalized, you’ll be cutting your time shorter in learning new moves, drills, etc. Vary Your Drills There are some players who practice their hitting only with the ball on the tee for probably the rest of their careers. But you know that it’s not enough. Hitting tee balls doesn’t completely prepare you for different situations on the field since it can only help improve your swing. That’s why you should vary your hitting drills and exercises. No exercise is ever going to give you a complete training on how to become a better hitter. As I mentioned earlier, tee ball is just a part of the equation. You should also learn how to hit the inside and outside balls, learn how to bunt, and more. The more varied your drills are, the better-rounded a hitter you’ll become. Take a Closer Look at How You Hit the Ball This part is where a training coach can help you.
Several videos of you hitting the ball will help him and yourself analyze how you approach this skill. If there’s room for improvement, it would be easier to detect with a video because you could freeze it or slow it down. Why is this important? Knowing how you hit the ball helps solve a lot of problems, from your mechanics to how you handle your bat. Basically, the analysis of your batting will help determine what types of drills and exercises will benefit you the most.
You must practice correctly to ensure that you achieve your practice goals much faster. Aside from that, doing your drills and exercises correctly ensures and that you’re not leading yourself to greater chances of injury. So here are some of my softball hitting tips that will help you make the most of your hitting practice. Follow them and you’ll save yourself a lot of time and keep yourself from getting injured. Get a Training Coach Not many players may be able to afford hiring one, but if you’re really serious about improving your game then I strongly suggest you get a training coach. Sure, your team’s coach can guide you during practices, but he’s already working hard enough. He also has your teammates to take care of which is why you may not be getting the most of your training with him.
So I suggest you get a training coach who can share with you more time to take a closer look at your game. And since his suggestions are more personalized, you’ll be cutting your time shorter in learning new moves, drills, etc. Vary Your Drills There are some players who practice their hitting only with the ball on the tee for probably the rest of their careers. But you know that it’s not enough. Hitting tee balls doesn’t completely prepare you for different situations on the field since it can only help improve your swing. That’s why you should vary your hitting drills and exercises. No exercise is ever going to give you a complete training on how to become a better hitter. As I mentioned earlier, tee ball is just a part of the equation. You should also learn how to hit the inside and outside balls, learn how to bunt, and more. The more varied your drills are, the better-rounded a hitter you’ll become. Take a Closer Look at How You Hit the Ball This part is where a training coach can help you.
Several videos of you hitting the ball will help him and yourself analyze how you approach this skill. If there’s room for improvement, it would be easier to detect with a video because you could freeze it or slow it down. Why is this important? Knowing how you hit the ball helps solve a lot of problems, from your mechanics to how you handle your bat. Basically, the analysis of your batting will help determine what types of drills and exercises will benefit you the most.
unbearable fees of education in abroad
Taboos are established in a society to avoid harmful consequences to their people either because the non-verbal or verbal behavior violates a code based on supernatural beliefs or it violates the moral code of the society. According to Adler (1989), taboos are subject to the environment and they are language-specific.
This research was held in the United States to examine whether the Chinese and Korean immigrants in a western society share any taboos in (1) non-verbal phonologically-linked taboos, related to death or separation and (2) verbal animal-linked taboos to describe people. The results show that these Chinese and Koreans share only one phonologically-linked taboo – the number “4”, which associates with “death,” and one animal-linked taboo – the “tiger” for a woman, which is used negatively to hot-tempered females. Introduction In an intercultural setting, good communication requires not only the linguistic and sociolinguistic knowledge of the host language for interaction but also knowledge of the culture and cultural rules which contribute greatly to the content and the process of meaningful communicative interaction (Saville-Troike, 1989). Most people are motivated to adjust their conversation in expressing attitudes and intentions toward others.
Though individual variation may exist, people will basically choose appropriate language as a means of reducing the cultural differences between them. Knowledge of prominent language features of a culture like non-verbal and verbal taboos, seldom discussed in language textbooks or in classrooms as part of cultural instruction, is probably essential to successful communicative interaction (Shen, 1993). Taboos are subject to the environment. They are language-specific; therefore, they are not universal or timeless (Adler, 1978). In many cases, foreign people realize the existence of the rules associated with taboos only after they have violated them. Those who do not observe these social “rules” might face serious results, such as total embarrassment or, as Saville-Troike (1989) has stated, they may be accused of immorality and face social ostracism or even death. In this paper, two types of Chinese “possible taboos” are examined in the context of Korean culture and language: (1) Non-verbal phonologically-linked taboos from traditional Chinese society that are associated with the “separation” and “death”.
Do Chinese and Koreans share these taboos because similar sounds occur so often in their languages? (2) Verbal zodiac-animal-linked taboos in modern Chinese society. Do Chinese and Koreans share more zodiac-animal-linked taboos than either shares with Americans because of the same customs? Data were collected in two ways: questionnaires and interviews. What is a Taboo? The word ‘taboo’ in early contexts was primarily used to evoke a breach of good manners. Today the word evokes either attitudes that are outdated and irrational or topics that were deemed unmentionable in the past but are now being openly discussed (Thody, 1997). “Taboo” is a borrowed word from Tongan, a Polynesian language. To most people, it refers to “forbidden” or “to be avoided” behaviors, both verbal and non-verbal. A taboo is also an expression of disapproved behaviors in a society. Taboos are established because people believe that such inappropriateness will bring harmful consequences to them either because this non-verbal or verbal behavior violates a code based on supernatural beliefs or it violates the moral code of the society (Wardhaugh, 1992).
Once taboos are formed in a country, references to them become taboo, too (Shen, 1993). We may find that taboos occur in all kinds of environments, from ancient to modern society, and at all levels of civilization. Members of each community are psychologically and physically trained and shaped by the community to observe the “rules” closely. For example, Westerners wear black for a funeral and white for a wedding. But in the ancient Chinese weddings, a white dress was not allowed to be worn because white was for a funeral. Therefore, all individuals involved had to wear black formal costumes. Later, the color changed to red. Now under Western influence, white is the customary formal color for brides and sometimes for bridegrooms, too (Shen, 1993). Non-Verbal and Verbal Taboos Non-Verbal Taboos Some non-verbal taboos may seem funny, but severe punishment might have come to those who failed to observe the rules in an earlier time and today as well. Accidents may also result from taboo non-verbal cues (e.g., an inappropriate gesture).
For example, In 1988, in Los Angeles, an entertainer from Thailand was reported to have been convicted of the murder of a young Laotian. The entertainer was singing in an after-hours Thai cabaret when the Laotian, a patron, put his foot on a chair with the sole directed at the entertainer. When the cabaret closed, the entertainer followed the man and shot him. The reason was that among Southeast Asians, showing or directing the sole of the shoe to another person is considered a grievous insult (Axtell, 1991). An incident also took place in Hong Kong a few years ago because of a hand signal miscommunication. A television station there took an annual picture of all the contracted entertainers before the Chinese New Year. As a joke, famous Kung-fu actor Jackie Chan, who recently played the main actor in the movie “Rush Hour,” held his fist with his middle finger stuck out on top of the head of an actress who stood in front of him. When his photo appeared in the newspapers, the station received dozens of calls from Westerners living in Hong Kong complaining about the indecent gesture.
To them, when the middle finger is used, there is only one interpretation – indecency. When Chan applied this gesture, he meant to suggest that his friend had grown horns on her head for fun. Chan refused to apologize because his gesture was not intended to be an insult as the gesture is not considered indecent in Chinese Society Several times, when my Korean informant talked about classic words or terms used in Korean, I could figure out the exact Chinese counterparts merely from her pronunciation. This is not surprising because the cultural influences of China upon Korea over the centuries have left an indelible mark upon both the written and spoken Korean language. It is possible to trace many aspects of Korean language and culture back to ancient China. But not long ago, when my Korean informant gave me a fan as a gift, I was a little shocked. To many Chinese people, a fan is a forbidden present because it has the identical sound as “separation.” If a person gives a fan to his or her friend, their friendship will stop or diminish from that time. Therefore, it has become a phonologically linked taboo to give friends a fan in Chinese society.
One question is if Korean people also have similar phonologically-linked taboos as the Chinese do. The first part of the questionnaire elicits data to see if there are any similarities between Chinese and Korean people on this point because of the similar sounds. Verbal taboos In every language there seem to be certain “unmentionables” – words of such strong affective connotation that they cannot be used in polite discourse. Two verbal taboos are probably universal. The first of these are words that deal with excretion and sex. For example, when a woman needs to go to the toilet because “nature calls,” she will ask people where the “rest room” or “powder room” is, although she has no intention of resting or putting powder on her face. Second, in both Western and Asian cultures the fear of death carries over into fear of the words having to do with death. Many people, therefore, substitute words, such as “died” or “death” with expressions such as “passed away,” “went to his reward” or “departed” (Hayakawa, 1982). People generally like to hear words that bless one’s good health and long life or metaphors that generate positive descriptions of one’s personality and appearance.
However, because of different cultural backgrounds, an expression in one country can cause a quite different effect in another. For example, Chinese people would feel horrified or upset if they were told before a performance to “break a leg,” an English expression used to wish one good luck. In the study in this paper, Chinese animal-linked taboos are compared with those of Korea because both countries have the same twelve animals (i.e., the rat, the ox, the tiger, the rabbit, the dragon, the snake, the horse, the sheep, the monkey, the chicken, the dog, and the pig) as part of the zodiac cycle representing a unit of time. At the same time, these verbal animal-linked taboos are also compared with animal expressions in America to see if there are any significant differences. Hypotheses To this day many Chinese people are superstitious to the extent that they will avoid doing anything that they believe can bring bad luck. Chinese non-verbal phonologically linked taboos are products of ancient days. They were generated from an identical sound or group of sounds which represents evil objects, disasters, and other negative occurrences. (Shen, 1993). Since a large portion of Korean vocabulary comes from Chinese culture, especially Confucian classics, my first hypothesis is that Korean people will have most of the phonologically linked taboos that China does. A special zodiac cycle, consisting of the twelve animals mentioned above, has been shared by Chinese and Korean people for hundreds of years. One animal represents one year, and twelve years is a complete cycle. In ancient Chinese culture, most of these animals were good symbols.
They were quite welcomed and respected. Nevertheless, in modern society in China negative connotations are given to some of the animals, which means some of the animals have become verbal taboos in describing a person’s character or appearance. Koreans, being so historically and geographically related to the Chinese, probably at some time in the past associated the same meanings to the twelve animals as Chinese people did. Furthermore, it seems likely that meanings would have evolved over the years as they have for the Chinese, but not necessarily in the same direction. The second part of the questionnaire is designed to examine if Chinese and Korean people still come to a consensus on which animal-linked vocabulary words are forbidden and which are acceptable to use in reference to a friend. Regarding verbal taboos, my second hypothesis is that Chinese and Koreans will share more animal-linked taboos than either shares with Americans. Methods The sample for this study consists of thirty respondents from three countries. Ethnicity was determined through questionnaires in which respondents provided their own label for their background. In all, there were ten Chinese people (seven from Taiwan, one from Mainland China, one from Hong Kong and one from the US), ten Koreans (from South Korea) and ten Americans (three German-Americans, one Italian-American, one African-American, and five Anglo-Americans). Among the ten Chinese people, aged from 25 – 38, are two males and eight females. Among the ten Koreans, aged from 28 - 40, are six males and four females. Among the ten Americans, aged from 27 – 50’s, are four males and six females. Data collection Data were collected in two ways: informal interviews and the questionnaire. The questionnaire was culturally determined. To focus on the characteristics of Chinese taboos, questions fell into two categories: (1) non-verbal phonologically linked examples of inappropriate usage, such as homonyms or expressions forbidden to certain groups within Chinese culture; (2) verbal animal-linked metaphors and inappropriate language choices from the Chinese and Korean zodiac. In the questionnaire, Questions one through six are non-verbal phonologically linked taboos that Chinese people have been aware of for hundreds of years. In Questions 7 through 19 are designed to elicit what animal-linked vocabulary words would be verbal taboos among the Chinese, Korean, and American peoples. Results and Discussion Non-verbal phonologically-linked taboos Because Chinese people yearn to reach or be close to a state of “being blessed” and to stay away from “evil” or “bad luck” as much as possible, they create taboo situations. The phonological parts of taboos mentioned in the first six questions in the Questionnaire are examples of evil-related things: death and separation; thus, they became representative of the Chinese taboo system. Some examples follows: (1) Chinese: The fan (? shan) and the umbrella (? san) have very similar sounds to the word “? san”, which means “separation”. Korean: The fan (? son) and the umbrella (? san) do not sound similar to the word “? zhok”, which means “separation”. Therefore, the Chinese and Koreans did not share this taboo. Question 1: It is appropriate to give a female friend a fan as a gift. Question 2: It is appropriate to give a friend an umbrella as a gift. The Chinese word ? (shan) is a term meaning “to break up, to dismiss, to dissolve.” It is a “forbidden” word among Chinese performers because their professional survival depends on a continuous succession of contracts; therefore, for them, the very notion of “breaking up” infers the destruction of their career. This tradition is carried to the extent of preventing a performer not only from voicing this particular word, but even from mentioning any term that includes the same sounds, such as “? shan” which means fan, or “? san” which means umbrella. Therefore, 50 or less had no objection to such a gift. The reason was that a beautifully painted fan can decorate the wall and an umbrella is very useful in our daily life. It is also interesting to note that, in ancient China, a fan could be given as a parting present in the hope that the traveler could use it to keep himself cool. But 90 of the Chinese respondents disagreed or disagreed strongly with giving a friend a clock as a gift. The ones who agreed said they would only give it to a person their age. One hundred percent of Koreans and Americans all agreed or agreed strongly with giving a clock to a friend. To Korean people, a clock is a traditional and popular gift for a friend when he or she starts a business. The Korean sound for “giving a clock” is “song zhong,” and the sound for “biding farewell to a dying person on his or her deathbed” is “song young.” They sound quite different. To Americans, clocks or watches make lovely gifts and they are long lasting. Certain brands and styles would be more acceptable. One American responded that the fancier, the more appropriate. (3) Chinese: “Turning over (? fan) a fish ” can be a forbidden action on a boat to avoid the disastrous outcome of a ship being overturned in the ocean. Korean: “Turning over (? zhokban) a fish” is not a forbidden action on a boat to avoid bad luck. Therefore, the Chinese and Koreans did not share this taboo. Question 4: If eating fish on a boat, it is appropriate to turn the fish over after one finishes eating the meat on the top side. Fifty percent of the Chinese respondents disagreed or disagreed strongly with doing it. In Southern China, seamen’s families generally avoid voicing “? fan” (a Chinese sound for “turn over”).
They associate the disastrous outcome of a ship being overturned in the ocean with the action word for the concept. If fearing what one says might bring the unwanted consequence into reality, the taboo situation is established. To these families, it is also a taboo behavior to turn a fish topside down after one finishes the meat on that side. They envision the fish as the ship that carries their loved ones, so turning the fish over on the dish would symbolize that the ship has capsized in the ocean. Ninety percent of the Koreans agreed with the action because they thought it would be a way to finish a fish neatly or to see if there is more to eat. They do not associate the sound for “turn over” with the disastrous outcome of a ship being overturned in the ocean through the action word for that concept. Eighty percent of the Americans agreed because they thought it makes sense and would probably be easier that way, especially if the fish has a lot of bones in the middle. The rest who disagreed (20 of the Chinese and 90 of the respondents agreed. Only the number “13” is considered bad luck in American culture. Therefore, a Chinese or Korean patient would react far more strongly to being assigned to a room or a floor in a hospital with the number four than would an American patient assigned to a “Room 13” or “floor 13.” This is the only phonologically-linked taboo that I found shared by these two countries. (5) Chinese: “Cutting a pear in two halves” (?? feng li) can be another forbidden action among Chinese because it sounds exactly like ?? (feng li), which means “separation”. Korean: “Cutting a pear in two halves” (?? bun yi) does not sound like ?? (bul li), which means “separation”. Therefore, the Chinese and Koreans did not share this taboo.
This research was held in the United States to examine whether the Chinese and Korean immigrants in a western society share any taboos in (1) non-verbal phonologically-linked taboos, related to death or separation and (2) verbal animal-linked taboos to describe people. The results show that these Chinese and Koreans share only one phonologically-linked taboo – the number “4”, which associates with “death,” and one animal-linked taboo – the “tiger” for a woman, which is used negatively to hot-tempered females. Introduction In an intercultural setting, good communication requires not only the linguistic and sociolinguistic knowledge of the host language for interaction but also knowledge of the culture and cultural rules which contribute greatly to the content and the process of meaningful communicative interaction (Saville-Troike, 1989). Most people are motivated to adjust their conversation in expressing attitudes and intentions toward others.
Though individual variation may exist, people will basically choose appropriate language as a means of reducing the cultural differences between them. Knowledge of prominent language features of a culture like non-verbal and verbal taboos, seldom discussed in language textbooks or in classrooms as part of cultural instruction, is probably essential to successful communicative interaction (Shen, 1993). Taboos are subject to the environment. They are language-specific; therefore, they are not universal or timeless (Adler, 1978). In many cases, foreign people realize the existence of the rules associated with taboos only after they have violated them. Those who do not observe these social “rules” might face serious results, such as total embarrassment or, as Saville-Troike (1989) has stated, they may be accused of immorality and face social ostracism or even death. In this paper, two types of Chinese “possible taboos” are examined in the context of Korean culture and language: (1) Non-verbal phonologically-linked taboos from traditional Chinese society that are associated with the “separation” and “death”.
Do Chinese and Koreans share these taboos because similar sounds occur so often in their languages? (2) Verbal zodiac-animal-linked taboos in modern Chinese society. Do Chinese and Koreans share more zodiac-animal-linked taboos than either shares with Americans because of the same customs? Data were collected in two ways: questionnaires and interviews. What is a Taboo? The word ‘taboo’ in early contexts was primarily used to evoke a breach of good manners. Today the word evokes either attitudes that are outdated and irrational or topics that were deemed unmentionable in the past but are now being openly discussed (Thody, 1997). “Taboo” is a borrowed word from Tongan, a Polynesian language. To most people, it refers to “forbidden” or “to be avoided” behaviors, both verbal and non-verbal. A taboo is also an expression of disapproved behaviors in a society. Taboos are established because people believe that such inappropriateness will bring harmful consequences to them either because this non-verbal or verbal behavior violates a code based on supernatural beliefs or it violates the moral code of the society (Wardhaugh, 1992).
Once taboos are formed in a country, references to them become taboo, too (Shen, 1993). We may find that taboos occur in all kinds of environments, from ancient to modern society, and at all levels of civilization. Members of each community are psychologically and physically trained and shaped by the community to observe the “rules” closely. For example, Westerners wear black for a funeral and white for a wedding. But in the ancient Chinese weddings, a white dress was not allowed to be worn because white was for a funeral. Therefore, all individuals involved had to wear black formal costumes. Later, the color changed to red. Now under Western influence, white is the customary formal color for brides and sometimes for bridegrooms, too (Shen, 1993). Non-Verbal and Verbal Taboos Non-Verbal Taboos Some non-verbal taboos may seem funny, but severe punishment might have come to those who failed to observe the rules in an earlier time and today as well. Accidents may also result from taboo non-verbal cues (e.g., an inappropriate gesture).
For example, In 1988, in Los Angeles, an entertainer from Thailand was reported to have been convicted of the murder of a young Laotian. The entertainer was singing in an after-hours Thai cabaret when the Laotian, a patron, put his foot on a chair with the sole directed at the entertainer. When the cabaret closed, the entertainer followed the man and shot him. The reason was that among Southeast Asians, showing or directing the sole of the shoe to another person is considered a grievous insult (Axtell, 1991). An incident also took place in Hong Kong a few years ago because of a hand signal miscommunication. A television station there took an annual picture of all the contracted entertainers before the Chinese New Year. As a joke, famous Kung-fu actor Jackie Chan, who recently played the main actor in the movie “Rush Hour,” held his fist with his middle finger stuck out on top of the head of an actress who stood in front of him. When his photo appeared in the newspapers, the station received dozens of calls from Westerners living in Hong Kong complaining about the indecent gesture.
To them, when the middle finger is used, there is only one interpretation – indecency. When Chan applied this gesture, he meant to suggest that his friend had grown horns on her head for fun. Chan refused to apologize because his gesture was not intended to be an insult as the gesture is not considered indecent in Chinese Society Several times, when my Korean informant talked about classic words or terms used in Korean, I could figure out the exact Chinese counterparts merely from her pronunciation. This is not surprising because the cultural influences of China upon Korea over the centuries have left an indelible mark upon both the written and spoken Korean language. It is possible to trace many aspects of Korean language and culture back to ancient China. But not long ago, when my Korean informant gave me a fan as a gift, I was a little shocked. To many Chinese people, a fan is a forbidden present because it has the identical sound as “separation.” If a person gives a fan to his or her friend, their friendship will stop or diminish from that time. Therefore, it has become a phonologically linked taboo to give friends a fan in Chinese society.
One question is if Korean people also have similar phonologically-linked taboos as the Chinese do. The first part of the questionnaire elicits data to see if there are any similarities between Chinese and Korean people on this point because of the similar sounds. Verbal taboos In every language there seem to be certain “unmentionables” – words of such strong affective connotation that they cannot be used in polite discourse. Two verbal taboos are probably universal. The first of these are words that deal with excretion and sex. For example, when a woman needs to go to the toilet because “nature calls,” she will ask people where the “rest room” or “powder room” is, although she has no intention of resting or putting powder on her face. Second, in both Western and Asian cultures the fear of death carries over into fear of the words having to do with death. Many people, therefore, substitute words, such as “died” or “death” with expressions such as “passed away,” “went to his reward” or “departed” (Hayakawa, 1982). People generally like to hear words that bless one’s good health and long life or metaphors that generate positive descriptions of one’s personality and appearance.
However, because of different cultural backgrounds, an expression in one country can cause a quite different effect in another. For example, Chinese people would feel horrified or upset if they were told before a performance to “break a leg,” an English expression used to wish one good luck. In the study in this paper, Chinese animal-linked taboos are compared with those of Korea because both countries have the same twelve animals (i.e., the rat, the ox, the tiger, the rabbit, the dragon, the snake, the horse, the sheep, the monkey, the chicken, the dog, and the pig) as part of the zodiac cycle representing a unit of time. At the same time, these verbal animal-linked taboos are also compared with animal expressions in America to see if there are any significant differences. Hypotheses To this day many Chinese people are superstitious to the extent that they will avoid doing anything that they believe can bring bad luck. Chinese non-verbal phonologically linked taboos are products of ancient days. They were generated from an identical sound or group of sounds which represents evil objects, disasters, and other negative occurrences. (Shen, 1993). Since a large portion of Korean vocabulary comes from Chinese culture, especially Confucian classics, my first hypothesis is that Korean people will have most of the phonologically linked taboos that China does. A special zodiac cycle, consisting of the twelve animals mentioned above, has been shared by Chinese and Korean people for hundreds of years. One animal represents one year, and twelve years is a complete cycle. In ancient Chinese culture, most of these animals were good symbols.
They were quite welcomed and respected. Nevertheless, in modern society in China negative connotations are given to some of the animals, which means some of the animals have become verbal taboos in describing a person’s character or appearance. Koreans, being so historically and geographically related to the Chinese, probably at some time in the past associated the same meanings to the twelve animals as Chinese people did. Furthermore, it seems likely that meanings would have evolved over the years as they have for the Chinese, but not necessarily in the same direction. The second part of the questionnaire is designed to examine if Chinese and Korean people still come to a consensus on which animal-linked vocabulary words are forbidden and which are acceptable to use in reference to a friend. Regarding verbal taboos, my second hypothesis is that Chinese and Koreans will share more animal-linked taboos than either shares with Americans. Methods The sample for this study consists of thirty respondents from three countries. Ethnicity was determined through questionnaires in which respondents provided their own label for their background. In all, there were ten Chinese people (seven from Taiwan, one from Mainland China, one from Hong Kong and one from the US), ten Koreans (from South Korea) and ten Americans (three German-Americans, one Italian-American, one African-American, and five Anglo-Americans). Among the ten Chinese people, aged from 25 – 38, are two males and eight females. Among the ten Koreans, aged from 28 - 40, are six males and four females. Among the ten Americans, aged from 27 – 50’s, are four males and six females. Data collection Data were collected in two ways: informal interviews and the questionnaire. The questionnaire was culturally determined. To focus on the characteristics of Chinese taboos, questions fell into two categories: (1) non-verbal phonologically linked examples of inappropriate usage, such as homonyms or expressions forbidden to certain groups within Chinese culture; (2) verbal animal-linked metaphors and inappropriate language choices from the Chinese and Korean zodiac. In the questionnaire, Questions one through six are non-verbal phonologically linked taboos that Chinese people have been aware of for hundreds of years. In Questions 7 through 19 are designed to elicit what animal-linked vocabulary words would be verbal taboos among the Chinese, Korean, and American peoples. Results and Discussion Non-verbal phonologically-linked taboos Because Chinese people yearn to reach or be close to a state of “being blessed” and to stay away from “evil” or “bad luck” as much as possible, they create taboo situations. The phonological parts of taboos mentioned in the first six questions in the Questionnaire are examples of evil-related things: death and separation; thus, they became representative of the Chinese taboo system. Some examples follows: (1) Chinese: The fan (? shan) and the umbrella (? san) have very similar sounds to the word “? san”, which means “separation”. Korean: The fan (? son) and the umbrella (? san) do not sound similar to the word “? zhok”, which means “separation”. Therefore, the Chinese and Koreans did not share this taboo. Question 1: It is appropriate to give a female friend a fan as a gift. Question 2: It is appropriate to give a friend an umbrella as a gift. The Chinese word ? (shan) is a term meaning “to break up, to dismiss, to dissolve.” It is a “forbidden” word among Chinese performers because their professional survival depends on a continuous succession of contracts; therefore, for them, the very notion of “breaking up” infers the destruction of their career. This tradition is carried to the extent of preventing a performer not only from voicing this particular word, but even from mentioning any term that includes the same sounds, such as “? shan” which means fan, or “? san” which means umbrella. Therefore, 50 or less had no objection to such a gift. The reason was that a beautifully painted fan can decorate the wall and an umbrella is very useful in our daily life. It is also interesting to note that, in ancient China, a fan could be given as a parting present in the hope that the traveler could use it to keep himself cool. But 90 of the Chinese respondents disagreed or disagreed strongly with giving a friend a clock as a gift. The ones who agreed said they would only give it to a person their age. One hundred percent of Koreans and Americans all agreed or agreed strongly with giving a clock to a friend. To Korean people, a clock is a traditional and popular gift for a friend when he or she starts a business. The Korean sound for “giving a clock” is “song zhong,” and the sound for “biding farewell to a dying person on his or her deathbed” is “song young.” They sound quite different. To Americans, clocks or watches make lovely gifts and they are long lasting. Certain brands and styles would be more acceptable. One American responded that the fancier, the more appropriate. (3) Chinese: “Turning over (? fan) a fish ” can be a forbidden action on a boat to avoid the disastrous outcome of a ship being overturned in the ocean. Korean: “Turning over (? zhokban) a fish” is not a forbidden action on a boat to avoid bad luck. Therefore, the Chinese and Koreans did not share this taboo. Question 4: If eating fish on a boat, it is appropriate to turn the fish over after one finishes eating the meat on the top side. Fifty percent of the Chinese respondents disagreed or disagreed strongly with doing it. In Southern China, seamen’s families generally avoid voicing “? fan” (a Chinese sound for “turn over”).
They associate the disastrous outcome of a ship being overturned in the ocean with the action word for the concept. If fearing what one says might bring the unwanted consequence into reality, the taboo situation is established. To these families, it is also a taboo behavior to turn a fish topside down after one finishes the meat on that side. They envision the fish as the ship that carries their loved ones, so turning the fish over on the dish would symbolize that the ship has capsized in the ocean. Ninety percent of the Koreans agreed with the action because they thought it would be a way to finish a fish neatly or to see if there is more to eat. They do not associate the sound for “turn over” with the disastrous outcome of a ship being overturned in the ocean through the action word for that concept. Eighty percent of the Americans agreed because they thought it makes sense and would probably be easier that way, especially if the fish has a lot of bones in the middle. The rest who disagreed (20 of the Chinese and 90 of the respondents agreed. Only the number “13” is considered bad luck in American culture. Therefore, a Chinese or Korean patient would react far more strongly to being assigned to a room or a floor in a hospital with the number four than would an American patient assigned to a “Room 13” or “floor 13.” This is the only phonologically-linked taboo that I found shared by these two countries. (5) Chinese: “Cutting a pear in two halves” (?? feng li) can be another forbidden action among Chinese because it sounds exactly like ?? (feng li), which means “separation”. Korean: “Cutting a pear in two halves” (?? bun yi) does not sound like ?? (bul li), which means “separation”. Therefore, the Chinese and Koreans did not share this taboo.
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